Thursday, June 28, 2007

I ask myself sometimes, "Why oh, why, can you not be satisfied?"

Luke has been doing so well lately and tonight I began to ask myself, why I can't be satisfied with how great he is doing. It was amazing yesterday when the oxygen man came, as he does every other week, to only exchange 2 small tanks of oxygen. We used to have to exchange up to 12 some weeks. Luke's oxygen levels have been absolutely phenomenal lately, I checked him earlier today because he sounded a bit "junky" or you might say congested, but his oxygen level was at 100%. I remember when I used to cry out to the Lord to heal his lungs, I remember saying "Lord if you would just heal his lungs and make him breathe easier life would be so much better". It is better not having to worry about his oxygen levels at night or listening to his alarms going off all night long, but I guess I want more.

I so desire for Luke to start communicating with his voice again, just to hear him say Mommy, would be heavenly. I would love to see his legs bending, his muscle tone has gotten worse lately. I was hoping that putting him in the Hyperbaric chamber more often would help it, but after 5 dives in the last week and a half there doesn't seem to be much change. Bottom line is I would love to see Luke back to the way he was before this whole journey began. I know it is coming but I get so impatient for it to be today.

The Lord has been really dealing with me to be content where I'm at right now. Our Pastor, which also happens to be my brother in law, spoke an awesome word last Sunday about being in God's perfect will even at times there doesn't seem to be any progress made in your life and finding peace at being there. I have decided that I need to take it a step farther, not just being at peace where I'm at, but finding the joy of Lord in this place I find myself to be in. I know this is possible, because God's word is true and does not lie, therefore when it says I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me this includes of course finding his joy in times of frustration at what appears to be His slow timing.

Would you please join me in praying for the following prayer requests:
  • Continue to pray with me that Luke's legs will limber up and begin to bend. That all his muscle tone will begin to loosen up and that he will relax in our arms again.
  • For Luke to begin to use his voice in communicating, specifically that he will say mommy and daddy, along with all his siblings names again.
  • That he will pass his swallow test on July 20th, so that we can begin to feed him with confidence in knowing that he will not aspirate. Also for me that I will not feel anxious about having to go the Hospital for this procedure.
  • That he will stay healthy during our camping trip.

As I just mentioned above, we leave tomorrow for the Oregon coast for 2 1/2 weeks, to say I'm excited about going would be putting it mildly. My life gets so busy with Luke's appointments and so many other important things I need to do each day, I need a few weeks to just take it easy. My parents have blessed us with sharing their membership at Leisure Time Resorts, which are some beautiful campgrounds in Washington and Oregon, they are free for us to stay at, a huge blessing to say the least. Our favorite resort is just south of Newport, OR right across the Highway from the Pacific Ocean. I look forward to sitting by the ocean, even if the weather is not always great, playing games with the family, reading and listening to books and watching sunsets. I know that Daniel is looking forward to surfing, Gordy and Amy are excited to go golfing a few times, Natalie is looks forward to reading and relaxing, Isaiah and Ezekiel just want play for hours on the beach, in the indoor pool and at the playground. Luke looks forward to not having any appointments, swimming in the pool and flying the kite at the beach and Lily will love having all the family together in one place, as this is her most favorite thing in the world, Josh will be joining us for the week that Daniel is coming and I hope my parents can come for a few days.

I will try to post while we are gone, if we have a computer available. Thank you once again for your continued prayers, I have mentioned this many times, but it bears repeating, without the prayer support that we receive this journey that we've been on for sooo long would be impossible to bear. May God richly bless you today!

Love in Christ,
Luke's Mommy Sue


Anonymous said...

I know, actually not really, how you feel. Kind of. Once you are content and something happens to rock you out of contentment it is hard. Life is so short, I personally have learned in this past year and a half not to be too content. Things change.
Luke has made so much progress. His smile, his cry, his eating.
I pray fr you Sue that you will once again be content, if only at the beach!
I still wish I we met when you were out here at Magic Mountain!

Carmichael Family said...

I think so often of the words of a song by Jeremy Camp..."All of you is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with your love
And all I have in you is more than enough..." And yet so often I find myself wanting more, asking God for more than He has given me...
It is so hard to wait, and so hard to be satisfied, but this song often brings comfort to me and helps me be satisfied in Christ alone...
I'll be praying for you, and of course for Luke too!!! Have an absolutely wonderful vacation! Looking forward to updates along the way if that works out.
God bless,

annie said...

I'll be praying!
I think of you often and pray for you and Luke a lot!