Friday, November 21, 2008

I need to find Balance in my life and stop "beating" myself up

Yesterday was a challenging day. I was doing a pretty good job of beating myself up. You see sometimes I feel that my other children, you know the ones that are not "Luke" get gypped out of so much at times. Finding a way to balance my life is so tricky and while I try so hard to lean on God and have Him guide me through each day, sometimes I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job.

You see Lily my sweet little girl was completely and totally potty trained until about few months ago, I would get upset and wonder what had happened to have her regress. Finally I took her to the Dr. yesterday after so many people told me that she might have something wrong, sure enough she has a bladder infection. None of my children or myself for that matter have ever had one of these so I didn't know the symptoms. Does that make me feel better, NO! I should of been on top of Lily's care better, I should of taken her to the Dr. a few months ago when all her "potty accident's" began. But alas I didn't in the name of "being to busy," it's so easy to get into that trap and I have found myself entangled in the too busy trap for too long.

I hope you don't read this and judge me, I promise to once again with God's help find balance in my life. Balance to schedule my life better, balance to get more sleep, balance to find time to help all my children equally with their needs, balance to make more time for my husband, balance to spend more time in prayer and bible reading, balance to not rely so much on my older daughters, balance to find time to exercise and lose all those pounds I need to lose. I know that you get the picture. Will you please pray that God will help me find that much needed balance in my life? I find myself feeling selfish just asking you all for your prayers, but I realize that your prayers have gotten me through the last 4 years of my and they are powerful, therefore I will thank you in advance for lifting me up.

Love in Christ,
One humbled Mommy, Suzi


Rachel E. said...

I am praying for you, Suzi! Thank you for being so open and honest with your struggles in life and as a caretaker. I can only imagine how stressful must be to deal with so many different people's needs on a daily basis and yet you do it with such grace, always giving the glory back to Him. None of us is ever adequate in all of our duties without God strengthening us and making his power "perfect in our weakness."

Hope to hear how you're doing again soon!

Christine said...

You are a good Mom. You took her in and that is the main thing. Have a great weekend.

annie said...

You're such a good mom Suzi!

Jodi Pesicka said...

I still struggle after 18 years with finding the right balance. If you read last weeks blog it is exactly what I was talking about. I remember soon after Justine's near drowning my oldest daughter started wetting the bed at 5 years old. I went through the same thing just attributed it to the stress of her drowning , she was a heavy sleeper, you name it and about 4 months of it i took her to the doctor for her booster shots and brought it up and it also turned out to be a bladder infection. I had the same feelings that you are going through. You are a great Mom. Talk soon Jodi

Anonymous said...

Just stopped in to let you know that we are still praying for you. We have all done stuff like that. I am glad you found out and I am sure that she will be better soon. I miss posting here as often as I would like but I do pray and I have not forgot. Love, Shane, Julie and Children

annb said...

I am praying for you. Even in a home with four healthy children, I "missed" things! I think "should" is a very bad word and causing us to beat ourselves up! Maybe there are things I "could" have done differently, but what's done is done and we move forward - exactly as you are! I can't imagine a better mom (from reading about you regularly). Maybe in allowing your older daughters to help, you are teaching them about love! Who are we to judge anyone? I'm so thankful that God is my judge and He is faithful.
In His Love and Blessings,

Anonymous said...

I could of wrote your last paragraph.... HUGS. God will give you the grace. YOU are beating yourself up....

PRAYING for you and for LILY and as always for LUKE :)