Gordy had taken over the alarm watch around 4:30 when I finally got to bed, so he was having a hard time getting up on Sunday morning also, it's so hard when one of us is sleep deprived, but when both of us are it's really, really hard. After Gordy gave Luke a bath and I got him dressed, all his machines and equipment moved out to the living room for the day, Gordy got paged from work with some problem that he had to take care of immediately. Needless to say the kids had to walk to church by themselves, which is only 4 houses down from our front door. I hate to send them by themselves, but I know that with as much family as we have there at church they will be will taken care of and watched over, but that doesn't help the fact that I wanted to be there with them.
I wrote the previous paragraphs to set the stage for the pity party I was having for myself during that morning. Tears were flowing freely and I just couldn't stop them, or my horrible thoughts of how hard my life is at times. Then I begin to beat myself up, because I realize that as hard as we have it there are many people out there in the world that are much worse off then our family. I tried to pray, but it was so hard, the tears just keep coming. As the morning progressed, Gordy was finally able to get to church once he finished up taking care of the problem at work and that brought me a bit of relief knowing he would be at church with the kids.
After church they were having a baptism service at a local lake and then a potluck BBQ at the church. I was in tears knowing that I was once again missing out of something that I really wanted to be at. Okay, I'm sure by know you are saying to yourself enough already Sue, we get it you were having a terrible day.
I knew that I needed to go to church that night. I have missed so much church lately and that is so hard on me, you see I grew up going to church Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other time there was a service during the week. I love to go to church, I love sitting there worshipping during the song service, I love feeling God's amazing presence, I love hearing the Word being preached, I love hugging the people and connecting with those at church, I love feeling apart of the family of God!
Every so often I go back to a church that has always held a dear spot in my heart, the church that I went to when I was in Jr./High school, the church were I met and married Gordy, Life Center. It is one of the few churches that actually have an amazing Sunday night service. I went to be fed spiritually that night, but God had other plans, plans that I would of never dreamed of in a million years. You see Pastor Dean was having people share a story about their life and he just happened to ask for a volunteer from the audience, someone that had been attending that church for less than 3 years, don't ask me why but I raised my hand and was chosen to go up front. I sat on the platform amazed that even though I had just lived through one of my most challenging days, God in His amazing ways, said Sue when you are at your weakest, I will make you strong.
I sat on that platform sharing my story of Luke's journey, of how Luke is a miracle who was raised from the dead, of how even though I would of never in a million years have chosen to go through this journey that I've been on, I wouldn't go back and change it because now I have a stronger relationship with my Jesus, I know from experience that He will never leave me, that He always hears my cries when I am in the deepest pit and pulls me out, that He is the only reason that I have the strength to go on most day.
I know that God chose me Sunday night to prove to me that I have not lived these past 7 years in vain, that He has a plan for my life, even when I can't begin to imagine what that possibly can be. You see when the service was over I had so many people come up and give me a hug and tell me they would pray for Luke to get better and for me to have the strength to go on, some of them had tears in their eyes as they told me that my story was just what they needed to hear that night.
I wonder if you had the opportunity to get up in front of a large crowd of people, what your story would be?? We all have a story to share, it may not be like mine, but it's just as important and others need to hear it. You see even when we think that no body cares about us, we always need to remember that God cares and that should be enough, though it doesn't always feel like it. I have been blessed over the years to have some of the people that follow the blog comment or send me an e-mail to tell me their story, to tell me that because of the words that I write on this blog they are inspired and to be honest, that is very humbling to me, but I have and always will give all the glory to God, as I've said it so many times before it's only because of His strength that I'm even able to get out of bed some days, He is the only thing in my life that is constant, He never changes, He is always there, hearing my cries of desperation, ready to minister to my soul. And the really cool thing is He is such a HUGE Father God, He is able to do that for you too, all you have to do is ask.
I hope and pray that today if you've never called out to God and asked for his help that today you will do just that, but more importantly if you've never asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins and come into your heart, I pray that you would do that today. You see this journey as hard as it's been would be worth it all if just one person found Jesus through the humble words that I write on this blog. I would be ever so grateful if you would be willing to share a story of what God has done in your life. It would make my day to hear from you, it only takes a minute to write a comment and just think of all those people that will be encouraged today by your words.
Love in Christ,
Luke's Mommy Sue
PS Luke still needs your prayers, he is still struggling to get over this pneumonia, please join with me in prayer that God will reach down with His Healing Hands and completely heal Luke's lungs today, forever. Thank you.